Jump to...
It’s hard not to like Dory, the chipper, memory-challenged Disney fish voiced by Ellen DeGeneres. She has so much working against her, so many people openly frustrated by her very presence, but what’s her motto? “Just keep swimming.”
Unfortunately, in the real world, grinning and bearing whatever comes your way stunts the development of your critical thinking, problem-solving, and empathy skills. Not to mention, it puts a lot of stress on your mental health.
“Just keep swimming” and similar mantras sound motivational, but they can easily take a darker turn and become a classic sign of something called “toxic positivity.” What’s so bad about looking on the bright side of life? Nothing, as long as you remember that all healthy people feel bad from time to time—and it’s OK to acknowledge that.
In fact, smart employees and leaders know they should acknowledge negative feelings in order to build a psychologically safe, innovative workplace.
Next Article
6 Spooky Practices That Brew a Toxic Work Culture
5 Reasons Being a Leader Is Hard (and How to Prepare)
What is toxic positivity?
To be clear, toxic positivity is not the same thing as optimism. Optimism is about having hope for and confidence in a positive outcome.
Toxic positivity is the insistence that a positive outlook must prevail among everyone, no matter what. There’s no room for negative emotions, nor any excuse for feeling disappointed, sad, or angry. In the direst cases, there’s a refusal to acknowledge failure or a need for change.
No one wants to work with grumpy, pessimistic coworkers, either. But toxic positivity swings to the far opposite end of the spectrum, where any expression of negativity is so looked down upon that people end up hiding a range of emotions, needs, and opinions.
Psychological safety in the workplace becomes impossible to achieve, and without that, the organization starts hemorrhaging diversity, equity, and innovation—not to mention critical thinking.

5 Classic Toxic Positivity Examples
Toxic positivity can be difficult to spot. It’s not like there’s a Positivity Police stalking the halls in search of frowny faces. Most of the time, it manifests in off-the-cuff remarks that, again, sound motivational, but have the opposite effect.
Here are some seemingly innocent phrases that are perfect toxic positivity examples.
“Try not to think about it.”
If there’s one thing every business should encourage employees to do, it’s think—about the good and the bad. Therefore, few phrases sum up the threat of toxic positivity quite like “try not to think about it.”
When sales results fail to meet targets or you lose that promotion, you’re facing a prime opportunity to flex your critical thinking or, if you’re a manager, encourage your team to do so.
Why did the sales results fall short? What does a strategic analysis show? What can you do differently next quarter?
Why were you overlooked for that promotion? Should you upskill in any areas the position called for? Do you have to build more allies in the office? Or could it be that this company isn’t the right fit for you, and it’s time to look for something new?
You’ll never get any of those answers if you don’t think about the questions.
Next Article
Asking the Right Questions for Effective Leadership
“Look on the bright side.”
Most situations have some silver lining, but if you’re going to find that silver lining, you’d better put it to good use.
Imagine your coworker loses an important client. Here are two variations of what you could say:
- “Look on the bright side—at least you didn’t get fired!” Who is this helping? Absolutely no one because, at best, it chalks up your coworker’s survival to luck. Relying on luck is no way to run a business or grow as a person.
- “Look on the bright side—we know not to make that mistake again.” Here, you’re at least urging your coworker to acknowledge the problem, analyze it, and learn from it. You’re looking forward, not up in the clouds.
If you must encourage someone to look on the bright side, do it constructively, not as passing, shallow encouragement.
“Just try to be happy.”
Nothing is as demotivating as having your thoughts or feelings ignored.
Imagine your in-house copywriter expresses frustration about a typo in a finalized marketing material. A little spelling error may seem trivial to you, but “Just try to be happy that we got the final draft out on schedule” dismisses the pride they take in their work.
Phrases like this stomp all over empathy in the workplace. It’s not you who’s having a bad day and facing the uphill climb back to a positive mindset. But it is you who’s facing an opportunity to expand your perspective.
“You’re bringing everyone down.”
Imagine it’s the end of the week, and everyone is celebrating finishing a project. There’s pizza or cake, and the boss stands to toast the hardworking team.
Someone shrugs uncomfortably and mutters that they would’ve finished much sooner if there had been a better workflow. The boss slowly lowers his cup, rolls his eyes, and says, “Come on, man. You’re bringing everyone down!”
He could have said, “Let’s set up a review meeting on Monday.” Or, “Could you put together a proposal to fix that?” Instead of a conflict management approach, however, he goes for public shaming, which could easily devolve into gaslighting—a classic sign of toxic positivity.
Toxic positivity tends to cultivate a myth that everyone is happy except that one guy. As a result, that guy eventually stops speaking up, and so does everyone else. But the person asking the hard questions is often the same guy that gets people thinking, and that’s how innovation happens.
Fighting Toxic Positivity with Critical Thinking
Avoiding toxic positivity in the workplace requires vigilance, but take care not to overcorrect. Pessimism can be just as damaging as toxic positivity, and there’s usually room for optimism, as well.
The true bane of toxic positivity is critical thinking. Keep in mind, however, that your critical thinking mind can’t run 24/7. It’s sometimes exhausting to break down a particularly tricky or persistent problem. In such cases, swimming past a problem can help, as long as you swim back to it with fresh eyes and new momentum.